While most of my blogs are filled with joy this one not so much but I'll do my best that is for sure.
Everyone has been sick Kora,Me and Aspen as well Daddy got lucky he didn't get sick at all but Kora got better I'm getting better and Aspen took a turn for the worse just a few days ago
I've been taking her to the doctors with concern about when shes sleeping the struggle she is going through just to breath but no doctor saw her condition as a concern like I did I felt very alone.
The same day yet another doctor told us she was fine , turns out she wasn't...
Note to self : always trust what you feel inside as a mother even if a doctor tells you your wrong
I never thought I'd be faced with this but our Aspen turned blue the concerns that we had were real and they were serious at 3am I called an ambulance at the neighbors and we were rushed to the near by hospital with our Aspen fighting to breathe. I had videos and pictures of what had happened along with a list of each time it happened because I was afraid nobody would believe me because I'm a young mother. Crying isn't allowed when you have to be strong, dying isn't allowed when you want to be invisible. Not when your child needs you to be mama not when your the only support they are hanging on your their life support.
It was a long few nights in the hospital as my fears became a reality a machine let me know everytime she stopped breathing.
STOPPED BREATHING like its that simple what you'd never guess you'd lose your child from but it happens they just stop breathing.
Nurses rushed in and out our room every time her monitor went off some were believers and others just blew us off even with everything we had been through
I'm glad I had a wonderful friend in that uncomfortable hospital chair so I wasn't alone while daddy stayed home with Kora and insured her everything's okay sister will be fine but we didn't know this for sure
we still don't
Why is this happening to my baby?
I asked myself this question as the doctors came in and told me exactly what my daughter had wrong with her although to me she was perfect it was hard to listen your daughter has GERD they said its severe her stomach contents come back up after she eats and it chokes her she also has vaso vagal responses in her sleep her heart STOPS pumping blood to her brain and her brain doesn't tell her body to breathe... this is worse then sleep apnea I am sorry and then they stated my last name like when a doctor says I'm sorry you have cancer.. Mrs ____________
Aspen was sent home with a monitor that I can't remove from her body unless she is submerged in water like for a bath or for swimming if she doesn't grow out of this
nobody really knows if she will or not
but we PRAY!
I know others feel that its hopeless and maybe before I felt hopeless but now whats happening has a name and someone believes us even if I wish we were wrong.
we are not here are some images of her in the hospital
In the ER
Her Crib In The Room
Concerned Daddy Kisses
The First Smile
Concerned Big Sis
Mommy I'm going to make it through
I'd also like to share images taken of Aspen and Kora together the same day the night before all this became our reality
My reminders that each day I CAN and WILL be strong
A Love Like No Other
All SMILES Princess's
Shes Really Grown Since ...
Note To Self : Things Happen In Life That We Can't Control , As Parents We Take Control To Give Our Children The Best Life's Possible, We Will Never Give Up!
